Death Of A Drama Queen
Dramatic, brat, challenging, these were a few names I was called as a child. Admittedly I was a tad hard to handle, but why was it so bad that even at such a young age my determination was in full force? I knew what I wanted when I wanted it, there was no care for what others thought about me, and fear was not an issue. There was no playground left undiscovered by a fiery five-year-old. When looking back at pictures, I enjoyed being the center of attention. No matter If I was singing, dancing, creating, or simply climbing rock walls, my face was radiant whenever doing something I loved. What happened?
Throughout my adolescent years, there was a constant struggle of wanting to be the fabulous diva I was on the inside but instead became meek and self-conscious. It got to the point that the way I spoke, sat, ate, was altered to please others. I felt this need to compensate for how the world once perceived me. You’ve might as well have laid me on the front porch because I was a doormat. This, of course, bled into relationships & career paths. I tried so hard to be “perfect.” The “perfect” friend, the “perfect” girl friend, the “perfect” daughter, the “perfect employee” (I’m sure you get the picture). Striving to meet others expectations only caused my dreams to fizzle out. I wasn’t living my truth, and it left me empty.
Let There Be Light
A couple of months ago I had been water baptized. If you don’t know what that means, it’s a public declaration of surrendering your life to Christ. The decision I made it is a rebirth. I am now free. Free to be who God intended me to be, even though the world had a problem with how I followed the beat of my own drum. It was HE that has and will always love me. He doesn’t care if I write, publicly speak, or travel nations especially if it’s done with the intention of sharing his excellent greatness. Of course, there are days of insecurity, but then I’m quickly reminded that I was given the gift of a wild heart and whimsical imagination because I am not meant to stuffed into a box.
“The more we let God take over, the more truly ourselves we become-because he made us. He invented all the different people that you and I were intended to be… It is when I turn to Christ when I give up myself to his personality, that I first begin to have a real personality”-CS Lewis
Sparkle & Shine
Do you sometimes feel like living your truth is too hard? That in order to survive in our “picture perfect world” it is easier to hide some of those not so complying parts of yourself in fear of not being accepted? Or simply the anxiety of not being good enough and failing holds you back from coloring outside the lines. Let’s face it we are flesh and blood, God created us to desire attention and express that want in our spiritual gifts. Yes, each human being is unique in which talents they possess but that doesn’t make them any less special or greater than the other. Jesus wants us to be proud of who we are, to walk in confidence that we are his children and like children to celebrate what brings us joy freely. As Matthew wrote in the bible “YOU ARE A LIGHT”! Who cares what other people think? What is important is to know that God our Father loves us just the way we are. So what if eyes stare and mouths move only to speak words of poison then let them choke on their misery because your happiness will touch souls in search of a ray of hope. Let us all come to the point where we no longer are afraid of being a little #extra in front of others. If a person can’t handle you when you are shining your brightest then keep on glowing and hand them a pair of sunglasses.
“You are a light of the world-like a city on a hilltop that cannot be hidden. No one lights a lamp and then puts it under a basket. Instead, a lamp is placed on a stand where it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your good deeds shine out for all to see. So that everyone will praise your heavenly Father”- Matthew 5:14-16
Listening To “Fearless” Jasmine Murray
Reading: The Book Of Matthew
Photo Location: The Oculus, New York City